26 October 2009

yet another wedding

I have no photos. Since I have no camera. I do however have some observations.

1) Wedding cake is a terrible human invention. Pies are far superior to decorative food. Also: BBQ.
2) Small children are very unpredictable. Given a traditional wedding, it seems very hit or miss whether they will be a nice addition to a ceremony.
3) There are enormous advantages being anti/non-religious in a semi-religious setting and family. As in: you will not be even asked to do much of anything, if at all. Much less having actual formal requirements beyond eating food.
4) The main advantages come from being a total stranger to people and anti-socialite however. I can now say with great confidence that nobody will ever ask me to serve some official function at a wedding (this will include being one of the essential parties of a wedding "ceremony"). I find this realisation of my social habits quite remarkable. And it is good.
5) Nobody should ever ask me to operate a camera (that would be of the modern digital variety). They're not very cooperative and I have no interest in learning how to make them more so.

Updated 6) For my comfort, it will probably be a while before anyone gives me statements like "you're next". Or rather it better be a while. Because that shit is just annoying. I don't need an implication or accusation that:
1) I should be married or want to get married anytime soon (much less be actively sifting through any options to achieve such a goal)
2) that I will bother wasting time with pomp and ceremony.
3) Or a party. You all can go to a party that I wouldn't be at. Ink Spots music selections to the contrary, I'm not enthusiastic about being the center of attention. Ever.

Updated again:
I forgot to mention: seeing the bride doing martial arts demonstrations at the reception was, however, very cool.
Posted by Sun Tzu at 18:40
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11 comments:

not undecided said...

If you don't end up with a single tagged photo on FB from this, I will be impressed. Though you might just be deleting them as they come up anyway.

1 - Wedding pie? LOL. Better - supplement the cake with cookies. I thought our cake was yum, but a lot of baking Italian aunts will win every time.

2 - this was the most hilarious piece of wedding advice I got (yes, from an aunt) - do NOT have a flower girl or ringbearer. Whether they're angels or banshees, they'll just steal the show. I did, however, take this advice. LOL.

3 - Hah. Catholic guilt is neat. Got my brother to do a reading, even though he was probably more of an atheist then than I am even now.

5 - but if you hold one and pretend to use it or just take awful pictures, I bet people are even less likely to try and photograph YOU. I guess that could be an expensive prop, though.

26 October, 2009 19:31
Sun Tzu said...

2) They survived except for the photos they had them in beforehand.

5) When it's within your own family the only way to avoid being photographed is not to show up. Which means you don't really have any fair claim on free reception food afterward.

26 October, 2009 20:50
Sun Tzu said...

There may be photos. But I doubt they will circulate. The only people liable to share them would be family relations on facebook. Only one of them I think is adapt enough to tag me in them (and he won't care to, or rather, knows better than to do so).

26 October, 2009 20:53
not undecided said...

True. Well, sounds like good times.

26 October, 2009 20:58
not undecided said...

Knows better. LOL.

26 October, 2009 21:07
Bazarov said...

I was once asked by someone I used to spend a lot of time with to be his best-man. I didn't know how to say no without being rude, so I basically never said yes while saying, quite honestly, how surprised I was that he had decided to get married. I never did say yes. It's not an uncommon phenomenon. The Seinfeld episode with the ugly baby comes to mind, when everyone asks the gang, "Isn't the baby gorgeous?" or something like that, to which they engage in the same sort of behavior I did with my friend.

My folks eloped. So did my brother. It would be rude, should I ever get married, not to do the same, right? Who needs people around? The only essential person, I'd have thought, would be the spouse.

27 October, 2009 15:22
Sun Tzu said...

Indeed. I have little interest and opportunity or prospect for such things. But seriously, I see no reason to even allow for a ceremony.

Quite simply if I'm dating someone who wants a coronation disguised as a wedding ceremony, then this is not someone I'm liable to share a life with. This is not to say that every wedding I've been to has carried this stigma (it's pretty easy to do on the cheap, relatively). But the whole formal appearances and formal duties imposed on other people (other than the two getting married) makes very little sense.

Just have a party instead if you feel a compelling need to include other people.

27 October, 2009 22:32
not undecided said...

6 - agree. So very sick of the "so when's your turn?" thing regarding babies. I always want to say something like, yeah, maybe once I get around to kicking my heroin addiction.

30 October, 2009 16:35
Sun Tzu said...

Right.

The good news is that pretty much everybody that would likely invite me to a wedding has now gotten married. I expect a couple more extended family weddings before/if I get around to it, but they are not in my immediate family. So expecting an invitation may be pushing it, even if I would probably go. And I don't have any more single friends who are likely to "settle down" sometime soon, much less any who would invite me to a ceremony. So nobody will be bugging me about it.

On the downside, in previous engagements I had a guest. Which at least gave these statements a nod toward legitimate table fare, if overly inquisitive over my social living arrangements. For this latest occasion, it seems incredibly presumptuous to assume those 3 things listed above, particularly in the absence of a likely partner who might also bug me about them.

Even worse, to presume a likely partner who would bug me about them.

30 October, 2009 16:51
not undecided said...

Yeah, my sister and my brother both are getting a lot of this. Not necessarily from our parents, but extended family mostly. I admit to being part of the problem with my sister, but that's just because I'm not overly fond of her beau. If "he's never going to marry you" was the reasoning that got rid of him, I'd not argue with it, lame as it is.

Ah yes, the living arrangements reactions can be priceless in some circles. I'd announced/distributed change of address info right before a bunch of extended family gathered for a cousin's wedding (when Mike and I decided to 'officially' move in together) and I swore that if anyone uttered the phrase "living in sin" I was going to scratch their eyes out.

30 October, 2009 17:08
Sun Tzu said...

The implied subtext of "get rid of this loser/asshole/bitch" is also important to consider.

I am indifferent to that sort of commentary.

30 October, 2009 21:06

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