You have to plan your route

It's not always a straight line is it?


This first one just reminded me of Carlin's routine on the safety lecture. "Locate your nearest emergency exit. I do this immediately. And then I plan my route... let's see I'll step on the widow's head, push those children out of the way, knock down the paralyzed midget and get out of the plane where I can help others!"

"The safety lecture continues, in the unlikely event of a water landing your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. Well imagine that, my seat cushion! Just what I need. To float around the North Atlantic for several days, clinging to a pillow full of beer farts."

The rest of the list was pretty intuitive stuff.

Also, "internet piracy" should be renamed to "downlifting". I second that motion. For one thing, it's not as glamorous to be a "downlifter" as a "pirate."


This also was pretty amusing. Seriously? Do these right-wing advocates think the only sexual act that exists is sexual intercourse for the purpose of reproduction, and everything else is some sort of homosexual perversion? Are they really that out of it? Somehow a jocular reference to their being out of it and choosing silly names for protests is now an attempt to declare their manhood negated? I was pretty much done with this joke a week ago, but it keeps on giving these secondary wave laughs from people finally figuring it out.