fighting and spitting

We're easily horrified it seems. Too often we forget that people are human, and all the while its staring us right in the face. Bubbling under the surface is a seething mass of messy human emotion that just needs a little fire to boil over. Lately it seems, its not very pretty when it does.

Spitting in someone's face is in fact quite hideous, a repugnant act that proclaims the victim of this atrocity to be worthy only of our most vile fluids. But I am reminded of the late 'list' of the top 100 movie heroes. Numero Uno wasn't an action hero, wasn't a brawler, gunner and didn't even save anyone from a fire. It was Atticus Finch. When he gets spat on, he steps toward the offending 'man', who is perhaps a full head shorter than he and doubtless expects a savage beating. And then he proceeds to towel off the vile substance with his kerchief without a word, without a punch and with the greatest restraint. We have somehow forgotten this to be a sign not of weakness, but of dignity. Control and temperance over our sometimes feeble emotions is a sign of character beyond measure. It is precisely this dignity that would not lower and demean ourselves to have spat on someone in the first place, to say nothing of pummeling the person who does so to us. I fail to see why this sort of response is somehow impossible or at least why it might be heralded as a sign of weakness or poor resolve. Too bad.

Because we saw also this weekend in sports what happens when there is no restraint. Such weakness is in fact more disrespectful to ourselves and others than to act within restraint and reason. There are times where perhaps a violent or forceful response may be appropriate. Where time and logic must be abandoned to come to the aid and defense of others or ourselves. The fight in MSG was not one of these. Having played basketball, and having had moments of aggression and weakness, I can say that such aggression is best used to do this: play harder. Use the intensity to focus with a masterful confidence that you will do what you set out to do and nothing will stop you. That's what it's good for. What it is not good for is horse-tackling an opposing player for being successful and "showing you up". If someone is that much better skilled or talented, hey, that's the way it fell. It's also not good for tackling those players with a hit likely to impress an NFL scout into the first row of seats. The same goes for sucker-punching one, even if he may have deserved a fistacuff. Yes there is a use for all that excess of physical energy and courage that is assembled out of frustration and anger. But it was not that. Play better defense, chase out loose balls, etc. Basketball is not boxing or football where a good hit is a laudable achievement. It is a physical game where elbows and hip checks can be painful and seemingly omnipresent. Restraint is necessary because those minor blows can add up in a hurry if you're not used to taking them. Perhaps we're not sophisicated enough to remember the power of restraint. But I hope this can change. Otherwise we should expect lots of ugly scenes in our sports for years to come.